First time with a gay man

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They will publish the first novel ‘Amber memoirs‘ in 2026. We would all pull down our pants. It was a reminder that beyond the labels and societal constructs, there exists a universal longing for connection and belonging—a desire to be seen, heard, and loved for who we truly are.”

 

Theodor Drăgușin, 23, writer, Bucharest

“My experience at the gay bar in Bucharest completely transformed my view on freedom and acceptance.

Almost as soon as I walked in, I felt intimidated and embarrassed – almost guilty. Nothing romantic happened after, but it was still a lovely evening.”

Your Authentic Self Is Your Greatest Strength

There’s no strict rulebook to guarantee success on a first gay date. It sparked my interest in the LGBTQ+ community, fostering a more open-minded and empathetic perspective.

Gay Coming Out Stories

When I came out, I was talking to my friend. I guess that night feels so special, even now, because of how quickly and radically my outlook changed. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. As a barista used to the daily grind of brewing coffee and engaging in fleeting conversations with a diverse array of customers, I have always prided myself on my ability to connect with people from all walks of life.

Show genuine interest without turning it into an interrogation. It was a space where vulnerability was not a weakness but a strength—a testament to the courage it takes to live one’s truth.

I struck up a conversation with a fellow patron, a writer who had moved to Stockholm from Berlin. And here’s our email if you wanna send a letter: [email protected].

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Before the Date: Set the Right Foundation

Know What You’re Looking For

Before making plans, take a moment to reflect on your true intentions:

  • Are you interested in something serious or just a casual meet-up?
  • Are you emotionally ready to meet someone new, or simply testing the waters?

Being upfront about your goals — especially if you met on a dating app like Grindr, Tinder, or a gay-specific platform — helps set clear expectations and reduces the risk of misunderstandings.

Choose a Comfortable, Public Spot

Opt for a location that encourages conversation and feels safe for both of you.

Let identities and connections unfold in their own time — without judgment or pressure.

Stay Safe

  • Share your date location with a close friend
  • Meet in public for the first encounter
  • Be cautious of profiles that feel vague or overly intense

Accept That Not Every Date Will Be a Perfect Match

Some first dates lead to lasting connections.

first time with a gay man

I was also really bad at flirting because I had no actual attraction to them.) She whispered, “So, are you gay?” and I nodded and she said, “Oh my gosh, that is totally OK, that makes so much sense.” That is when the tears really started and I am so grateful for her. The bar became a cocoon, a haven from which I never wanted to emerge.

Still haven’t come out to anyone else, because again, everyone is super religious. Yet, stepping into this space, I became acutely aware of my own preconceptions and the subtle, unspoken boundaries that often govern social interactions.

The bar was a kaleidoscope of colours, textures, and sounds—the plush velvet seating juxtaposed against the industrial chic of exposed pipes and brick walls.